St. Pat's recap!

This was the first year Koen was all gung ho on catching a leprechaun. His cute little church teachers gave him some string to set a trap! I am so mad I didn't even get a pic of his concoction. It was pure awesomeness. When he woke up in the middle of the night he found that he did not catch him but that he had left him some treats and green twisties all over our house. He spent from 4-5 AM looking at the stuff and then decided to sleep in the hall. Silly boy.

 Our little leprechaun leaves treats in our shoes. :)

 We had to clean the church that morning so when we got home Koen found that the leprechaun had left him a little note.

 It said:

Koen and Brigs
That was quite the trap you set for me. I am a sneaky little leprechaun though. :) I ate all the gold coins YUM, but I brought more for you. I hid the other candy(from his trap) see if you can find it. 


I hope you like your treats. Silly me, I knew your mom got these books for you. I snuck them out for you. I am sure she wont mind. 


Enjoy!
Happy St Pat's!
Lester the Leprechaun


PS I hope you don't mind I drank a little milk and I had to go potty. :) Also here is a pin wheel for your special little brother Pierce. 


I had bought these little busy books for the boys the day I left on my trip. Not thinking I just set them in my closet. Well, Koen found them the day after we got home and asked all about them. I had planned to give thme to them for Easter but then thought this would be a fun way to give them.

The Leprechaun turned our milk and potty water green and brought the boys yummy doughnuts! I added to the breakfast with green milk, green eggs and green yogurt!

 After breakfast Koen was complaining that his ears where hurting(as they had been the night before.) I decided I better take him in. So happy St Pat's we headed to the doc. Poor Koen came out with a double ear infection. By the time we were headed home he was feeling totally rotten! We dropped Pierce's pinwheel by and got Koen some Subway. Then home to relax.

 Koen signing sick. haha

Luckily after some meds in the system Koen was feeling much better and when Phil got home from work we went to see the Lorax. It was Brigs' first movie in the theater and he did great. Minus a few potty breaks. :) We loved it. 

Had to get some pics of all of us in our festive green. I realized while getting dressed that this shirt is the only green thing I own. Apparently I don't love green... or red. I have the same problem on Valentines day! haha I never even got to the make up or the hair considering we ran from one place to another all day. Oh well. 

Yep I'm a pirate! My darn ear ring kept falling out and I forgot to take the other out! haha

That night we celebrated with some friends! We ate green pasta, green bread, green veggies and rainbow pudding. She had a bunch of cute activities planned for the kids. Coloring, scavenger hunt, rainbow necklaces etc. I was bummed when I pulled out my camera and it had no memory card. :( I did have Phil snap a pic of Laur, Stac and me with his phone before we left. Too bad we didn't get all the kids or Brook and Megan. It was such a fun night!

"I can't imagine"

 Today my baby would turn 10 months. What I wouldn't give to relive these photos.

I miss him so much. I just want to feel him, see him, hold him, love him. Do those things that I do for my other children. I want him. It is crazy to me how the missing doesn't subside and how on certain days I can't do anything but let it boil over. On those days the ache of missing is so deep. The pain is raw. The tears are frequent. They days don't come as frequent, but they hit just as hard.

Yesterday I had 2 of my nephews here for the afternoon and evening. I literally loved it. I loved having more kids to look after, more kids to feed and play with. I thought" this is what I imagined." I envisioned myself with 4 boys. As much as I wanted a girl, when I found out Pierce was a boy I didn't think that was going to happen. I thought we would have 1 more boy after P and probably be done. I want 4 boys to have movie night with and make treats for. I want a bigger family. Who wants to make treats for the 4 of us? Then I eat them all. ;) That is what it is about folks making treats for a large family...haha not so much but still something I wanted.

Today is fast Sunday. Of course there would be a baby blessing. There always is. I wont use the word hate, but I strongly dislike baby blessings. I hope at some point this will change, but for right now they serve as a stark reminder of what someone else has that I don't. A healthy baby. Then I think about Pierce's baby blessing. A blessing given to baby who isn't going to live. I really just can't deal with thinking about it and the differences. That and the combination of Testimony meeting today was more than I could handle. The tears would not stop. It is really just embarrassing to be a big bawling mess. What do you do? Get up, walk out? Let everyone see the tear streaked face? Sit there, try to compose yourself(not working) pick at your poorly polished finger nails, dig for a tissue you don't have because you already used it for your child. Let me tell you they both seem like a lose lose. I was already a mess and on the verge of tears and then Phil shared his testimony and echoed a lot of what I was thinking, but with a lot more testimony. ;)

Why does church have to be so hard? I feel like I have to check out from all spiritual talk or I am a mess of tears. I can't deal with peoples stories of "1 prayer/blessing and he was healed" or "through my trials I am learning/have learned" When a lot of time I feel like prayers and blessings don't change what is already going to/suppose to happen and all this trial is teaching me is pain and heartache. (well and a little patience, but it is hard to learn ;) I feel like at church I am either checked out to avoid being a blubbering mess of tears or on the verge of crying(if not already) the whole time. I swear through out the week it never hits me as hard as it always seems to on Sundays. Is it because my faith has grown in the areas of the gospel frequently mentioned or because it hasn't and needs to? I am not sure quite why exactly or if it will change but it is just a lot to deal with each week.

We also sat in front of my cute neighbor who had her little baby the week before Pierce. He was all over the place wanting to get down, crawl around etc. I kept trying to picture if Pierce was here and juggling him with the others. I always wonder how I would do it, but end up wishing I had the chance to try.

I have also decided that I "strongly dislike" the phrase "I can't imagine." I catch myself saying it often. It is one of those things that gets said to me all the time too. Of course you can't, and why would you want to try. I know it is a true statement. You can't until you have to. I guess it just hits me hard because I don't have to imagine it, I have to live it. I wish I could still be the one saying "I can't imagine." I don't want to have to live anymore "I can't imagines."

I promise if Pierce's day would have happened on a weekday it would not be this "down." Sunday's are for sure my hardest day. I really have a lot of good days. I am totally one of those people if its bad its bad. Like "Oh today was hard, lets think about all the other things that suck." haha Good quality huh? I find that some days just letting myself go there and getting the emotion out is what I need to have so many "strong" days in between. Some times I get to feel bad for myself. This is hard. Then I can live the other days being grateful I have all I have, and not someone else's 'I can't imagine."

Hunger Games

I love the Hunger Games. Who am I kidding, I love every overdone, "youth" fiction book! haha I was super excited for this movie to come out and definitely needed to attend the midnight showing. ;)

Laura, Wynde, Brook and I headed out to Leatherbys for a treat before. It was fab especially since I haven't been there forever. (although I have felt sick all day from it...so worth it! haha) We got to the theater about 11:20 and had a little time to enjoy all the hype. Including getting my self a glitter tattoo mockingjay.

We also need to buy our selves a shirt for memorabilia sake. ;) I will rock my Hunger Game pride along with my Mrs. Cullen and Katy Perry shirts. haha How old am I?

Brook and I hunted around the whole theater for a Hunger Games poster and snapped a pic with it. Glad we did since we didn't have time to get us all over there and at 2:30 AM when it was over I was in no shape for a photo. ;) (espesh after my 3 near sob cries during the movie...let's just say Prim's sad scream x2 and watching someone hold someone as they die hits a little too close to home)

We meet up with Laura's sister Emily who hit the gym instead of Leatherbys...maybe I should have done that?? {LOL} And were SO excited for the show!!! Can you tell???

 Lucky Brook gets to be front row Joe in both pics! ;)

The movie was SO good! I didn't want it to end. I don't think movies can ever really be as good as the book but I was definitely not disappointed. I also just love the midnight showing. I don't know why... it is just such fun! Ü Can't wait to take Phil to see it real soon!

Look Familiar?

Apparently to Brigs it rings a bell. He thinks the mom in this picture on the back of the Mini Wheat box is me. HAHA While we were on our trip my mom had these at her house and he would point to her and say "momma" I guess I can see a resemblance. ;)

Beat down

Poor Brigs fell hard core at the gym last Tuesday. It happened like 5 seconds before I came down from Zumba. When I walked in he was crying really hard. I took him and they told me he was bleeding. Poor kid. I opened his mouth to see that the bleeding was coming from that little piece of tissue that holds your bottom gum to your lip. It was totally torn and bleeding bad. They didn't know what had happened either.

That day when he woke up from his nap I noticed he had a bump on the middle of his forehead and his eye looked swollen. I was thinking "great he got pink eye too." Then the next day he woke up and it was black. Poor thing. It just kept getting blacker everyday.

It is finally gone now but he has a terrible cold to replace it. Can't a kid catch a break?

And this pic was actually on the first day...it got much worse. :( 

Captain Choose the Right

Our primary is doing the cutest little thing called Captain Choose the Right. Each child gets to bring him home for the week and think of some way they can choose the right. Then they are supposed to take a picture of themselves with Captain CTR doing that thing. Koen was lucky numero uno with Captain CTR. He had him the very first week. He choose to show himself going to bed when he was asked. This is one of my personal favorite ways to CTR! :)

Grand Cayman Part 3

Thursday-
We decided that the 5 of us who were not diving would go and do some snorkeling. We went down to 7 mile beach and found ourselves a little spot. We actually saw quite a bit including a flounder and a lobster. This was the first time we had been to the beach so you know I loved just laying out to dry off. :)

We decided to go find this little ship wreck to snorkel and on the way found a bakery were we got a treat. The ship wreck is right off the shore and a little bit is sticking out of the water. There wasn't a ton to see but it was kind of cool to swim over the top of the ship like you are in it.

The weather was pretty windy while we were there and we hadn't been able to dive at the turtle farm which we had heard was a favorite. That afternoon was the day! It was nice and so we decided to go for it.

When we got down to the 60ft depth my mask started leaking. After the day before I was in no shape to deal with that so I ended up going back. :( Sad since this is one of the best dives and this is how I ended my diving experience there. They all said it was really cool and they saw like 50 tarpon!

That night we made tacos and again ate them on our porch! SO fun.  Good company, good view!

Brent, Missy, Suzi, Tammy, and Phil went out to do a night dive. They all said they are so cool but that sounds WAY scary to me! They loved it though. 

Friday- Happy Birthday SUZI!!

I decided not to dive this day. I knew they would be doing a deep dive first and I didn't want to hold everyone else back. I also knew I would enjoy laying by the pool the whole 4 hours they were gone just as much if not more. ;) Everyone but me and Kris went diving. I totally laid by the pool the WHOLE time and I loved it. Some pics from the dive...

 Missy and Brent want cool underwater/no regulator pics like Phil. COOL!

 See I'm not the only one who gets fogged eyes. ;) 

 Eel and turtle

 We saw so many of the blue fish!

and a little self portrait!

When they got home we decided to go do a little more shopping. We found a few stores we hadn't seen the first time and made sure we didn't miss anything at the others. ;)

 Walking the town

We hurried back to celebrate the birthday girl with some Mexican shrimp cocktails before heading to dinner. We also had to get a few pics cause it was our last night and it is just TOO pretty!

Mexican shrimp cocktails! Smelled SO good, but I don't do cocktail shrimp.

 Me and the birthday girl!

The Ladies and the "mini me's" We realized just how similar father and son are on this trip! :)

 We went to dinner at Tiki Beach which is right on 7 mile beach. It was gorgeous scenery. Perfect way to finish the trip.

A lot of us just wanted a burger....and a burger they got! Me I wanted an icy drink! YUM!

This picture so cracks me up. Those glasses and the o'doul. awesomeness!

We of course had to have cake and ice cream back at the condo. Tammy made the most FABULOUS cake and we sang, it was great! Thanks for having a birthday Suz and for letting us celebrate in Cayman!

 

Saturday-

We managed to get a little shopping in before our flight left. Then it was back to the USA! While in Atlanta Phil and I may or may not have searched 5 terminals looking for the Qdoba! haha I told you we loved it! And it was SO worth it! We were excited to see our kiddos and love up on them. What's next on the docket???