Jesus Wants Me For a SUNBEAM!

 Can you believe this little adorable lover face is a sunbeam?! I kind of can not. He is such a fun little tyke. I can honestly say for me, Brigs at 3 has been great. I am sure it is because he is the baby in our house but he just does not seem big enough to be a sunbeam. Never the less he was pretty excited and has done really well with it.

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It is crazy because I never imagined myself at this stage at this point in my life. 2 {earthly} kids, no naps, no diapers, self sufficient in many way, and only a year away from both kids being in elementary.  Sometimes I wonder how we got here, and if we really want to go back. Then I try to imagine if Pierce was here {and healthy}. He would be 19 months. Would we be ready to add another one to our little family? We've always known he wasn't our last. I would be in full blown baby/toddler mode.

We are in such a different place because he is not here and because we haven't felt the time right to have another. We have traveled like crazy. Probably seen more places in the last 18 months than we would have seen in the next 5-10 years. It has been like therapy for us, and we've loved every minute of it. I feel like we have gone a totally different route than staying in baby/family building mode. I feel like we have gotten out of the "baby" mode. We enjoy doing things with our kids being bigger. There are definite perks of being out of baby mode.

I look at people who have kids that are Pierce's age and can't even see myself doing that right now. It was like, before when he was a baby and I would see people with babies, I longed for that, knew that was what I was supposed to be doing. Now so much time as passed. Pierce isn't an 18 month old to me. I can't even imagine him that way. I try, but it just doesn't come. For some reason to me he will always be a baby or an adult. Those are the only ways I see him. A beautiful baby in a fragile and sick body or a handsome man in a perfect body.

The other day as Phil and I were getting ready the song Beautiful Heartbreak came one. I told Phil after listening to it for a bit that I "didn't feel that way." I would trade it all if things could be different. I love where I am at in life, I love who I am becoming, I love what we've done. I know that Pierce's life and death have greatly influenced that but I would TOTALLY and FORSURE trade it for him to be here. Do you think you could ever really feel that way {never want to trade because of the new view you have} when it involves the death of a loved one? I don't.

It's hard to know where to go from here. It's hard to imagine not having any more children, but at the same time it is hard to want to start over. I can't even begin to explain how glad I am that we have waited. {I really thought I wanted a baby like 2 months after he passed} I am in such a better place emotionally. I've had time to learn that I am strong. Time to see I can do hard things. I have given myself time to heal. Time to realize the pain does lessen. Time to see the pain won't ever go away. and time to understand that I don't ever really want it to. Time has definitely been good for us, for me.

COSTA FREAKIN RICA {day 6, 7, and 8}

*TUESDAY*
As a Harmons group we toured the Manual Antonio National Park. It had rained pretty hard the night before (as we came back from the catamaran) and so a lot of the animals had hunkered down. We did end up seeing quite a few sloths, monkeys, frogs and spiders! The rain forest is seriously amazing. It was just crazy to walk through it and know that those things are just hiding all over!

 The park has two beaches that are less crowded, so after our walk we hung out there for a bit. Steve and I had a good time writing in the sand. Steve wrote Pura Vida in the sand bigger than I've seen anything written in the sand! haha

In Costa Rica they all say Pura Vida, it translates to Pure Life but they say it like all the time

We decided after a bit to go get something to eat. On the way we stopped by some shops where my husband may or may not have been being picked up on by a glorified gay man. haha Yep, he's hot! haha Then we headed to a little outside eatery just off the beach for some nachos! YUM! And of course Pina's!!!

Then we decided to just spend the rest of the day on the public beach, soakin it all in. I could literally do this every day for the rest of my life. I love laying on the beach!

 The boys decided to try out a little surfing again when high tide came.

We stayed until the sunset and it was amazing. When we got cleaned up we all piled in Doug's rented Highlander. And when I say all of us I am referring to 11 people. It was intense, and especially so when Doug decided to four wheel the dirt road at 30 MPH! SO funny! We ate at Ronny's place, which was less than stellar but the atmosphere was fun with all of us. And at one point someone from another table had a birthday and they brought out banana's foster. Not only was it on fire but they turned out ALL the lights, set off an alarm, blared music and then danced the banana's foster {fire falling on the ground} to their table. Pretty awesome.{after we realized everything was ok and the alarm wasn't signaling our immediate danger....}

 Apparently I missed out seriously on the Pina that day! Looks so good!

Again we headed to the Brown's room for more games and chatting. Never a dull moment. 

*WEDNESDAY*

All the boys went surfing again this morning, but Phil opted to not. He was pretty sore from doing it the past two days. I don't know if he really cared but I was bummed for him when they came back ranting and raving about the waves and how big they were. It was ok for me though because I loved having breakfast with him and taking a walk on our hotels monkey trail. 

Although we didn't see any on the trail{which was beautiful and had a great lookout spot} they were all over our hotel all the time. Brit and Miss saw these cuties a few days earlier and Lo and I saw some playing in the trees after breakfast another day.

We decided we would take the 11ish bus down to the beach. Although you could see out hotel from the beach we were set up on the mountain in the jungle. It was pretty cool. What more would we want to do on our last day than sit on the beach? Phil and the girls were all pretty burnt so the 3 of them got umbrellas. Lo and I worked on our last day of tan!

When Steve, Jace and Brad got back from surfing they met up with us. 

Our bestest friends! here's to the start of vacations together! whoot whoot!

In the late afternoon Phil and I went out shopping a little more and walked a ways a way to see if we could find other shops. We did find a cute little ice cream stand and got their version of cookies and creme in a straight up hefty cup! haha It was pretty delish. We did find a few last minute souvenirs which was great. While we were in the last shop buying my 10th pair of earrings{haha} it started a full on down pour! When went back over to our umbrella to find the other boys still playing in the ocean. Like I said before I love rain when its all warm outside and you are already wet! I wanted to go have a movie moment of kissing in the rain but there were a few too many people around. ;)

When we got back we had to hurry and get ready to met up for our last group dinner. It kinda sucked cause we were supposed to have dinner on the beach but with the rain that wasn't happening. Instead we ate at a hotel right there on the beach called Arena Del Mar. It was pretty good food. Overall though, being honest, I wasn't super impressed with any of the food. However that was the only disappointing thing about the trip and the rest was STELLAR!

 When we got back we all hung out in the the Brown's party room but not for too long as we all were tired and needed to pack.

*THURSDAY*
We had to meet to head out at 7:45 A.M. We finished some last minute packing and then headed for a quick breakfast before meeting the group. Then we had about a 3 hour bus ride to the airport. About 2 hours in we stopped by a crocodile farm. Wow, I've never seen so many crocs ever! {although I am really not sure I had seen ONE before?!? haha} This cutest guy was walking around selling carved crocodiles he made. Missy was a sucker for his handsomeness and is now the proud owner of a wooden croc! haha At least she got a pic with him to prove his cuteness! lol

 Lastly we stopped by a souvenir shop for some last minute goods. It was perfect cause Phil finally found something he wanted, a jersey, and I, 1 more pair of earrings ;). Then a short hour later we were at the airport and ready to head home. We didn't leave till 2 PM so it was a long flight with a couple hour lay over in Atlanta{Qdoaba anyone? We now know it is in terminal E no more searching.} When we were going through customs there were a TON of people that had come from Jamaica. We were talking to a nice couple in line for a while and then another couple a little later. The woman asked "where did you guys come from?" I told her Costa Rica and she asked what the weather had been like. When I replied "beautiful, 85ish" She said "uh, you're not tan at all" to Phil. It was all I could do to not bust up. Who says that?!?! Too too funny.
We sure were happy the next day when my mom met us more than half way with our rugrats. A big thanks to her for helping sister out and for meeting us and the BIGGEST thanks to my most wonderful sister. I love you Naebor.

PURA VIDA!!!

COSTA FREAKIN RICA {day 4 and 5}

*SUNDAY*
Was the day that we were headed out of Arenal to Manual Antonio {THE BEACH!!!} We slept in til 9:30, got a quick breakfast and headed out on one of my most favorite runs ever!!! It was WAY hot and WAY hilly but so cool. Costa Rica is seriously just a bunch of hilly mtns! I couldn't believe it. This was probably one of the hardest runs I have done but so BEAUTIFUL! I was a bite worried I was going to get ran over but I made it 4 glorious miles home in one piece! I love when Phil and I can go out and run together because it happens very infrequently!

Of course we got our clearest view of the volcano this day! We had been trying for the past 2 days to get a view of the top, but never had. But this was our view the last day!

 again I say AH-MAZING

Right off our balcony-not sure what's up with the lighting on Phil's teeth???

However at noon we had to say farewell  Lucky for us we were taking a small 12 passenger plane. Not all of us were excited about this. {I mean, I always hear about crashing but I tell myself those are like 2-4 man planes ;) } Brit had promised herself she would never ride in a small plane, and was not happy about the fact that her choices were limited to ride in it or......who knows?! lol so she chose to ride. :)

 We flew from Arenal to Quepos. It took all of 35 minutes. It was the best take off and landing I have ever experienced and the views from the plane we unsurpassable.

We made it!

We rode on a bus to our hotel, Parador. We loved checking out the room, the view, and the regular jetted bathtub on the patio!?!? WTH! yep! lol 

 We decided now that we were at the beach we better hit it up for a few before dinner! The water was probably the warmest I have ever felt. {although definitely not the clearest and likely the saltiest! ha} We all had fun in the waves until it was time to get ready for dinner. This night we went to dinner as a group at a place called Kapi Kapi. It was really good. Kinda Asianish which I love and they had the yummiest chocolate melting cake...yes please!

 That night I was SO tired and grumpy from the lack of sleep that started the trip that I went straight home and to bed at like 10. I felt so much better the next day and Phil wasn't sad to catch up on some sleep either!

*MONDAY*
The boys woke up early and went surfing.

 Laura and I did some exercises and then met for breakfast at 9:30. After breakfast we headed straight to the pool. Ahhh...heavenly!

The boys met up with us just in time for a poolside lunch before we headed out on our sunset catamaran. The catamaran was pretty laid back. We took about an 1 and 1/2 ride out to see what we could see. And see we did...some turtle and a few dolphin.

 Then they took us to a spot to snorkel  Doug wasn't lying when he told us we wouldn't want to dive here. The visibility was literally maybe 10 ft. Fine for a snorkel but not so much for diving. We did see a few fun fish and then had a fun time jumping off the boat. This pic is HYSTERICAL!

They then fed us some very interesting food that not really any of us could stomach. :( It was interesting to say the least. At that point we were enjoying the beautiful sunset and some tunes by one of the employees. He plaid his banjo and gave us each an instrument! It was seriously so so funny. Steve and his cow bell. He sure loved that thing. And the singer man sure loved Laura! Good freakin times!

After we got back and cleaned up we met for some real food. Unfortunately we were less than impressed with what our hotel had to offer. Actually what Phil and I shared was good just not a lot on the menu that struck my fancy, or maybe it was the price. ;) However, the Pina Colada was the best I had the whole trip. I was sad I didn't order another. After dinner we played some mad Scattergories. That created some good laughs!

"I only drink my calories if they are frozen!" So worth it! :)