I feel like I am ready to just roll, lets do it, but I have been having a lot of anxiety lately. I feel like my hormones are shifting. I have been ready to cry at the drop of the hat, on edge and tired. If you aren't on Facebook, this is my status today. It kinds sums things up...
Today has been a day of choices for me. Choosing to be happy, choosing to be patient and choosing to be unemotional. Even though I feel like being all the opposite. So far it is turning out in my favor. :) Life is all about choices. :) :)
I definitely haven't been getting enough sleep lately. It is hard for me to go to bed early because I look forward to my alone time at night. Then Phil gets home late and we haven't spent anytime together so of course I want to see him. I am a sleepy person. I need lots of it. Especially at the end of pregnancy. Which then just makes me think of how little sleep I will likely be getting in 5 short nights.
Koen has been interesting the last few days or maybe a week.saying weird things, doing weird things and just not being his normal self. I know he is probably just sensing the change but it sure makes it hard to imagine life with another one when I feel like I don't even know what is going on with him.
Brigs I am happy to report has gotten better than ever lately, if you exclude church. He is really increasing his vocabulary which helps with the screaming. He is still very headstrong and temperamental, but most things he does and everything he says is just so cute. I am sad he wont be my baby anymore. I want to hold and snuggle him all I can right now. I think it will be really hard not to be able to pick him up for 2 weeks. I feel like he is losing his baby status prematurely.
I always wonder how people have kids so close together. I never felt anything but excitement when I was expecting Brigs. I couldn't wait to hold a new baby, I was ready for no sleep, I was ready to have a little baby depend on me, ready to give up a huge piece of the "me" factor. This time I feel much more anxious about the whole thing. I have never felt ready this time around, but when we decided to get pregnant felt like it was "time." For me it has been a very different feeling. I think it is requiring a lot of faith from me right now to know that this is the right thing for our family and that I can do it. I just have a little self doubt. :) and probably a little selfishness. :(
This post is turning out to be a little more raw than I had planned for. Sorry, I guess I need to get it off my chest. I have been trying so hard to not think about things and push away my emotions. I know things will work out, I just wanna be sane for the ride. ;)
Here is a pic from a couple days ago. I was 38 weeks and a few days. Wednesday is the day.
10 comments:
I'm sorry you're having anxiety and stressing! I'm sure you'll just rock it and there will be nothing to worry about. Good luck with everything next week! I'm excited to see pics of the little guy :)
Awe man. You are making me anxious for you! I know you'll do great though. Everything will iron itself out in the end. So glad that I get to be here to meet Mr. P. before I leave!
I hear you on the planning to get pregnant part...I have to do a lot of self talk when it comes to getting pregnant...and I must plan it months ahead of time so I comit myself to it.
I think anytime you have a baby it is scary...the unknown is what is scary. I know you will do great. 3 is not to bad. You just plan on a little bit more chaos and that sums it up.
Excited to see this little guy!! Call me if you need any help at all next week!
Brook
Well I have to say that you look amazing! I think it is always hard when you don't know what to expect. My kids are close together and I love it. #3 has been the easiest for me. Not just because I didn't have to deal with post pardom :) But with everything. Including getting out of the house and going to church. You are in my prayers and I hope everything goes as well with you.
You will be great as a mother of 3. I can't wait to see Mr. Pierce and snuggle him. Best wishes for you and your little family. love ya mom
I totally understand! I was SO nervous when Jenna came! But you'll do great! I won't lie - it's hard at first... getting used to three, but it will get better! Good luck with the C-section, and your new little guy! I'm excited to see pictures of him!
Oh, and you asked about Disneyland... Jenna wasn't too hard becuase she eats what we eat, but ideally, I would have left both Jenna and Mandy home (if we had someone to watch them). Summer is old enough to go on most the rides, but Mandy could only go on the kid rides. So, while everyone was going on the big rides, someone was always had to sit out with Mandy and Jenna. It was fun with all three of them, though, and Mandy loved the kid rides. Jenna went on the kid rides, too, but she couldn't have cared less. :)
I sort of understand how you're feeling, and what you're going through! Spencer can definitely sense the change as it is now so close for us as well...although, he's gotten a little clingy, and that's about it. It's hard to have faith when we can't see the end results, but you'll do great, and the boys will be blessed to have another little brother! I am seriously looking forward to the day of delivery when I can start taking my anxiety meds again!!! Good Luck on Wednesday, and enjoy the whole experience, you'll look back at it this time next year, and wonder what you were scared about! Can't wait to see pix of the new little guy!!
I never really enjoyed the new baby mode, i thought it was too stressful and tiring! So i think your completely normal--i don't think it's selfish! Good luck tomorrow, can't wait to see some pix of the little guy!
You are so stinkin cute pregnant!!! Seriously! Good luck tomorrow! I'm so excited to see pictures of the little guy! And you will be a wonderful mom of 3! So excited for you!
I am dying to see the little guy. Hope everything went great!
xoxox
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