It was so awesome. First of all the machines they have are awesome. The picture is so great. We could see the baby's heart just beating away, sucking motions with the mouth and we were able to see many parts of the body. This was also the first time I was able to hear the heartbeat. Last time I went to the doctor they tried to find it on the dopler but said the baby was moving too much so they did a quick ultrasound. For some reason hearing it is so reassuring to me, I was so happy to have that.
When we first went in he mentioned that we had been there before and I told him we had came with our last one, our 3rd boy. He said "oh time for a girl then huh?" I told him probably not and that 4 boys would be just fine. He told us his daughter had 4 boys, but she cried. I told him I did that last time so I think I'll be good this time. :)
He started out showing us the profile and telling us "this face looks like I girl to me." I was just blowing him off saying probably not. I can not even explain to you how happy I was to go in and see that baby is still growing, heart is still beating and that we have more time. I loved just watching the movement and heart for a solid 15 minutes.
He then showed us down by the legs(still profile) that it still looked like a girl. Then he said "let's go make sure." So, he did. Then he typed the words "It's a girl!" on the screen. I really the whole time did not believe it. I still don't. I am so not convinced, but at the same time don't really care. My $50 was so well spent just being able to see baby for that time.
I guess I was just planning on them seeing 100% boy and then I would be able to tell people we are pregnant and having our 4th boy, without having to get the "I hope this is your girl" crap. So, now I just don't even know what to do.
We decided that it was time we tell the rugrats we were having a baby. I popped out about 13 weeks and felt like Koen could start noticing anytime. I thought it would be fun to get the one of those giant cookies from Mrs. Fields and put "your getting a little _______" on it. When we got over there Phil was so happy they said they could do it in 10 minutes. The girl however wanted to do something more riddle like in the wording. So we came up with..."Trick or Treat, we are getting something sweet. Happy Birthday baby Myla"
Koen totally read it and then was so excited. I only got a picture of the cookie, because we videoed their reaction which was really cute.
I feel like since we had this ultrasound it all feels a lot more real for Phil and for me. I am really getting a little belly too. I really hope we get to bring this baby home. Boy or girl, I just really hope it breathes, lives and stays. I can't wait to bring a little baby home again.
I don't know why I am still so nervous to tell people. Like I think the more people I tell the more people I have to tell if there is an issue. It is just scary. Pregnancy after loss is way scary. It's like it's fine when I can just keep it between my few little people but everyone knowing....wow, I don't know. EEEK! And my loss wasn't even during pregnancy!!
All we can do is hope and pray for the best. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for our family. I just really hope it includes a healthy baby. ♥
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