Wednesday, February 22, 2012
"Over It"
Some days I wish I could just be "over it." I know that doesn't actually happen but some days I wish it did. It is just too much to feel the pain, to cry more tears, to miss so deeply. It just seems easier to be over it. Then I remember that I will never be over it, but it will get easier, as it has, with time. Of course I wouldn't really want to be over it. It is a part of my life, a HUGE part, that I would never want to be completely over. It would be sad not to miss him and not to shed tears that he isn't here with us. But the part I wish could be totally gone is the ache. It is really just painful. I think I could do with out it. But alas I don't think the ache will go away. There is a piece of my heart that belongs to Pierce, and he took it with him. I think my heart will always ache for that piece.
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4 comments:
So so true! It is all so confusing and exhausting. Sometimes it makes me so mad that I will always have this ache inside me. Its not fair, but then I guess life isn't fair. Thinking of you and Pierce...
Alesha,
My heart aches for you that you are going through this. I still think about you often and remember you and your family in my prayers. I hope you know how much I admire your strength through all of this. If there is anything that I can do for you at any time please let me know, even if it is just having someone that you can talk about Pierce with I would love to hear stories about him. Hoping that you can feel comfort at all times.
First of all since you do not know me I am good friends with Jennie. Jennie married my sister in laws cousin and since we've both become mothers of angels we've gotten better acquainted. I was led to your blog through Jennie's blog, With Waiting Arms. I recently moved to Saratoga Springs UT and was surprised to find someone so close to me who also knew Jennie.
I agree with what you have stated whole heartily. We have been without our son Gabriel for just over 19 months. I miss him everyday and there are days that I wish I could get "over it", that great ache & feeling of loss. But I too know that will not ever go away. But as for something my husband and I agree on about the ache. That physical ache in our broken hearts has lessened. There are still days when I feel like I can't breathe and my heart ache's so desperately for my sweet son but that happens less often then it did in the first year. I hope I can give you hope that although you'll never be "over it" I believe that as time goes on that heart wrenching ache will lessen.
I couldnt have said it better than amy!! I think itd be more surprising if you ever did "get over it". Its your sweet son and you can't get over that. As time goes on the bad, bad days do get less often. That being said not a day goes by that I don't think of kael. but the ache isn't so gut wrenching all the time. Big hugs and prayers for you!!!
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